Well, folks, I was recently the target of some false information/rumors amongst the wives of my husband's company. It had to do with breaking rules of communication and I was attacked for doing something I simply have not done.This is the kind of thing that comes with deployments (or being involved with large groups of people for that matter) and so I think now is a good time to address the issue.
Honestly, I had no idea how to handle it. First of all- the information was absolutely, 100% false. This was either coming from a rumor set off my one soldier, spread to many, who in turn sent that out to the wives and put them on the attack, or just some confusion: guys putting someone else's face with my husband's name. Whatever the case- I was put in a situation where I was getting nasty messages full of accusations that were hurtful and untrue. (And a lot of it was done on a public forum). The first thing I did was gather the information. Why did they think this was happening and where did it start? Then I tried to defend myself. As I said, the accusations were false, so I tried to set the record straight. Unfortunately that did not get me far.
The next thing I did was reach out to others. One of the unit wives saw the public conversation where my name was (again, FALSELY) thrown out and she called me. I was just seeing and processing what was happening so I was still pretty shaken up. She calmed me down and helped me process. I then went through my chain of command on getting to the root of these rumors and shutting them down. Here's the thing: I am an avid believer in getting to the root of ANY issue and finding the solution. In deployments these kinds of things can really tear down morale amongst family members, and in turn deployed soldiers. Now my husband is worried about me back home, and that will affect his morale. So my point is this: First of all- DON'T ATTACK OTHERS. Don't gossip. It's poison. I don't care if you witnessed something personally- it does nobody any good to share harmful information. But if you're spreading hearsay you're very likely hurting someone's reputation for no reason. Gossip has the potential to break down a person or a group of people, and often times it is just not warranted (like in my situation). Let's be mindful of the harm it can cause and be better than pointing fingers based on things we have heard.
That being said: when you are hit with an untrue rumor about yourself- call your support network. Let them talk you off of that ledge that it's bound to put you on and let them help you process how you want to deal with it. And if it's the kind of rumor that can get someone in trouble- go through your chain of command. Call your FRG Phone Tree person or your FRG Leader. Command takes things like that pretty seriously- and depending on the degree of severity/where this is starting, they may address and squash it on a unit level. Get in front of the situation and control it before it controls you.
I am so thankful to those in my life who lift me up, and those who helped me through a very rough morning when I was blindsided.. Find your uplifting support network and drown yourself in them. Stay away from those who are quick to talk and do not let them break you when they start using your name in their rumors.
We have to be in each others corners, ladies.. especially through deployments!
Honestly, I had no idea how to handle it. First of all- the information was absolutely, 100% false. This was either coming from a rumor set off my one soldier, spread to many, who in turn sent that out to the wives and put them on the attack, or just some confusion: guys putting someone else's face with my husband's name. Whatever the case- I was put in a situation where I was getting nasty messages full of accusations that were hurtful and untrue. (And a lot of it was done on a public forum). The first thing I did was gather the information. Why did they think this was happening and where did it start? Then I tried to defend myself. As I said, the accusations were false, so I tried to set the record straight. Unfortunately that did not get me far.
The next thing I did was reach out to others. One of the unit wives saw the public conversation where my name was (again, FALSELY) thrown out and she called me. I was just seeing and processing what was happening so I was still pretty shaken up. She calmed me down and helped me process. I then went through my chain of command on getting to the root of these rumors and shutting them down. Here's the thing: I am an avid believer in getting to the root of ANY issue and finding the solution. In deployments these kinds of things can really tear down morale amongst family members, and in turn deployed soldiers. Now my husband is worried about me back home, and that will affect his morale. So my point is this: First of all- DON'T ATTACK OTHERS. Don't gossip. It's poison. I don't care if you witnessed something personally- it does nobody any good to share harmful information. But if you're spreading hearsay you're very likely hurting someone's reputation for no reason. Gossip has the potential to break down a person or a group of people, and often times it is just not warranted (like in my situation). Let's be mindful of the harm it can cause and be better than pointing fingers based on things we have heard.
That being said: when you are hit with an untrue rumor about yourself- call your support network. Let them talk you off of that ledge that it's bound to put you on and let them help you process how you want to deal with it. And if it's the kind of rumor that can get someone in trouble- go through your chain of command. Call your FRG Phone Tree person or your FRG Leader. Command takes things like that pretty seriously- and depending on the degree of severity/where this is starting, they may address and squash it on a unit level. Get in front of the situation and control it before it controls you.
I am so thankful to those in my life who lift me up, and those who helped me through a very rough morning when I was blindsided.. Find your uplifting support network and drown yourself in them. Stay away from those who are quick to talk and do not let them break you when they start using your name in their rumors.
We have to be in each others corners, ladies.. especially through deployments!
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