The hubs and I are pretty low-key. We love a date night on the couch with some popcorn and a movie. So in the spirit of one of our favorite date nights I put together a movie night care package!

You can't see the box that well, but I kept it pretty simple. "Admit One" ticket, a bag of popcorn next to the popular popcorn bucket and the "theme title"  that just says "Movie Date" (ran out of room, but I was going for "Movie Date Night" NBD).
I got a popcorn box and stacked some boxed candy in the bottom, then added popcorn, MilkDuds, his favorite popcorn flavoring and a movie inside. I got a couple of movies that I've seen lately that I thought he would enjoy- Contagion and Forever Strong. I also included SNL's Will Farrel DVD because I'm always quoting it! (Just a fun little reminder of me:) I popped some popcorn and put it in a bag and wrapped a book I bought for him.

A girlfriend of mine told me about a book that her soldier is reading while deployed. It's one of those personal growth books and it mostly pertains to growing in your marriage and family. Well, Andy and I don't have a family, but I thought, "What a good idea!" We are spending all of this time apart, which kind of puts our marriage at somewhat of a "stand-still". We're always growing, always evolving and changing, but right now we're doing this as individuals more than we are as a couple. So I thought this was a great opportunity for us to both read this kind of book. It's a great time for us to evaluate what we, as individuals, are bringing to our marriage and learn how to get more out of our strengths and attributes as a couple. Plus I think it will keep us bonded and connected while he's away. We each have a copy, so I look forward to what this will bring to us when he gets home:)

Thanks for reading!


M.

Hey, guys!

So this week I've had a few ladies come to me about arguments with their soldiers. This is something that all couples deal with during deployment, my hubs and myself included. Each couple and situation is different so there's no one exact answer, but I thought I'd share my experience with arguing and resolving issues when you're thousands of miles apart- what worked for Andy and me, anyway...
Most of you have probably been married long enough that you have learned how to approach and resolve your disagreements without turning it into a huge issue. Deployments are TOTALLY different, though. Something may have worked for you and your soldier when he was home, but isn't cutting it when he's overseas.

Here's the thing: Deployments are stressful. (Duh, right?) We have a lot more anxiety in our day-to-day and we spend a lot more time on edge. Plus we're all under a lot of pressure.
We're under pressure to carefully filter our conversations (on both ends). We also feel the pressure of trying our hardest to keep all conversations as light and upbeat as possible. We get so little communication that we don't want to spend that time arguing. I get it, believe me! But it's unreasonable, in my opinion, to think that you can go 6-12 months without disagreements. And the problem with even the slightest disagreement is that under high-stress situations those tiny disagreements escalate and turn into huge arguments if you aren't careful.
First of all, don't beat yourself up over an argument. They're bound to happen.
When they do, try to stop and understand where your anger is actually coming from, and if you're directing it in the right place. (Most of the time I'm betting you're not.)
You have to be especially careful to try and see their perspective now. Their mind is in a completely different place than it was when they were at home. They're mission-focused and that's a good thing! Also, they aren't here for our day to day and they could likely be feeling isolated and/or uninvolved. All that being said do not let that be an excuse for him to treat you poorly, and it's important he's willing to see things from your perspective as well.

My advice to anybody who would like it- is letters and e-mails. This works when they're home or away, really. The one and only advantage to having an argument during deployment is that we can spend minimal time going back and forth, saying potentially hurtful things to one another, so we have time to cool off and collect our thoughts on the situation. Now we can communicate them clearly and calmly with no distractions or interruptions. In this case we can control our temper and do without name-calling or getting off topic, sending us into a rabbit-hole. I am a firm believer in reconciliation. I do not believe in sweeping things under the rug, and Andy and I are both the kind of people that feel obligated to resolve any issues as soon as we can. So do I hate arguing with him when he's a million miles away? YES. Would I love to go 12 months or complete and utter perfect understanding without one of us getting frustrated with the other? Absolutely. But that's not marriage. It's not life. So it happens- and we work it out. And once we resolve it- it's history. There's no bringing it up 10 years later!
Remember that you and your spouse are a TEAM. It's the two of you against the world- always! You must have each others' backs and continue to nurture your relationship. Let your deployments make you stronger, not tear you apart.



M.

Hi, guys!

So last week was a really fun and crazy week for me. My nephew turned 3 Friday, so my sister threw an outrageous Pirate party for him! Since the hubs is wrapped around Parker's tiny little finger and missing him like crazy, I've thrown together a Pirate box, complete with pictures from the party, goodies and even some treasure! I'm really excited to send this kid-like box to Hubs.. He's hot, he's tired and he's homesick for family (mostly the nephew, I think;) so this should be exactly what he needs to lift his spirits.

This box wasn't so much a theme- it was Andy's requests box. He needed all sorts of basics (razors, shaving gel, deodorant, q-tips, etc.) I packed them all nice and tight in his box and put lots of pictures around the edges. Like I said, he's homesick and asked for pics from home- this box had lots. I have and will be sending them in each box I ship out from now on. Can't go wrong with pictures:)


Keep calm and stay ARMY strong, ladies! HOOAH!

M.

I guess considering I started this weeks ago and am only on my second blog I'm not great at this. I'm really going to try and get this down, though.
So Ive sent the hubs a few themed boxes.. My favorite was my Vacation theme- but it wasn't too dressed up because I actually sent it from my vacation! I went to Yosemite with my parents this past week and sent him lots of goodies from the gift shop (including "bear poo")!! I threw in a tee-shirt, a picture frame with a shot of me on a hike, and some locally made snacks.

I threw together a super cute "Nuts About You" box last week, too!

I went to Michael's and got some
stickers and supplies for making
cards, also!!:)

Okay, guys.. I'll start some deployment issue blogs soon- I'll share struggles I've had through deployments and how I got through them and hopefully shed a new perspective on what a lot of you are dealing with as well. Meantime, Go Army!

M.